Agonizing Not Anxious, a Place for Sorrow

Psalm 27 has been a portion of Scripture that I have always turned to when I am upset and need to be reminded who God is. It is a beautiful Psalm that David wrote during the time that he was hiding and running from Saul. It is a cry for and ultimately a declaration of belief in the greatness of God and trust in the protection that He provides.

The other day a friend was sharing with me about what God is teaching him about not being anxious. In this time of wondering about our leadership, struggling economically, and all things woke, I think that many are anxious – it is a very uncertain and different time. We have never been through anything like this before and the unknown always causes us to be vigilant, especially when we feel out of control.

As my friend shared, I began to think about what I had been feeling. Am I anxious? I would like to think that I am not. But if I am not anxious, how do I explain what I am feeling?

All Or Nothing

I think that as Christians, we tend to think of things as “all” or “nothing,” and so when we feel something that is not peaceful or joyous, we lean towards thinking that we are anxious, and we interpret normal feelings as negative because we don’t like them. I think that we err when we do that. Let me explain.

To be anxious is to be worried, concerned, apprehensive, fearful, uneasy, ill at ease, perturbed, troubled, disquieted, bothered, disturbed, distressed, stressed, and to be honest, I don’t think that defines what I feel.

I am concerned with what is happening in our world. I do care that people are struggling emotionally and wondering what tomorrow holds for their kids. I feel deeply that people don’t have enough to eat and that more and more every day are out of work. But just because I feel something does not mean that I am anxious. There is a place for feeling sorrow and for feeling it deeply.

As I thought about it, I realized that the word “agony” would describe what I feel much better. Being in agony means that I feel pain, hurt, suffering, anguish, distress, grief, woe, and heartache.

Jesus was in agony in the garden of Gethsemane. Luke 22:44

It is not sin to agonize over what is happening in our lives and the lives of those around us as long as it leads us to dependence on the Father, just as Jesus did.

As I reflected on these two words, I realized that when we are anxious, we tend to want to “fix” the problem, to find a solution, and we are continually looking for relief. We start to complain, and we act like Israel in Hosea 7:14

They do not cry out to me with sincere hearts. Instead, they sit on their couches and wail.

Being in agony is different; it expresses a brokenness that words can’t describe.

Many of us are calling out to God and asking, “How long?” Our souls are in agony for what is happening around us, but here is where being anxious and being in agony differ. When I am anxious, I want to control, but when I am in agony, I know that I need God.

Habakkuk complained to God about all the sorrow and suffering that he saw. He waited for God to answer, and when God did, Habakkuk was able to rejoice in the Lord and be joyful in the God of his salvation. Why? Because of God’s reply.

God did not change the circumstances related to Habakkuk’s complaint; what He did was bring perspective to the suffering. God’s statement at the end of chapter two was enough to calm his spirit and quiet his soul,

The Lord is in his holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before him. 2:14

It does not matter what is happening around us. Our God is in control. He knows the days we will live, and He knows the place He has prepared for us. He knows all.

That is why David says in Psalm 27:1,2:

The Lord is my light and my salvation – so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me.

David’s life was in danger, but his confidence was in the Lord, not in his circumstances. He finishes the psalm with these words:

I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. 27:13,14

So, what does this mean for you and me?

It means it is alright to feel. It is all right to sorrow. It is alright to be in agony. But we should never forget that God is in control. We may be in agony, but we do not need to be anxious.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6

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