Susan’s Journey: Facing the Past, Reclaiming Herself

For years, Susan played the roles she was expected to play. Devoted wife, loving mother, dependable friend. She had built a life that was safe and structured—married young, raised two children, and settled into the quiet rhythms of suburban living. And yet, at 59, an unease had settled in, a feeling she couldn't quite name.

It wasn’t that she was unhappy, exactly. Her husband was a good man, and her children were growing into wonderful young adults. But something inside her felt... off. Intimacy with her husband had become increasingly difficult, leaving her feeling disconnected, ashamed, and confused. She loved him, but there was a barrier between them, one she couldn’t quite explain.

As the house grew quieter with her children gone, Susan found herself with more time to think—time she had never truly given herself before. And with that silence came flashes of something she had spent decades suppressing. 

For years, she had buried it so deeply that she had convinced herself it never happened. But her body had always known. Her struggles with intimacy, her occasional feelings of numbness, the walls she had unknowingly built between herself and her husband—it all made sense now.

Susan didn’t know where to begin. She feared telling her husband, worried he would think she didn’t love him. She worried about disrupting the life they had built together. But she also knew that if she didn’t face this now, it would continue to steal pieces of her happiness, of her marriage, of herself.

One evening, after another restless day of inner turmoil, Susan sat down at her computer and typed, "Survivors of childhood abuse and intimacy issues." The search results flooded her screen—stories of women just like her, of mothers, wives, and professionals who had spent decades trying to fit into a mold that never quite felt right. Women who had found the courage to heal, even after years of silence.

For the first time, Susan didn’t feel alone.

Her journey wasn’t clear yet. She didn’t have all the answers. But she knew one thing: she owed it to herself, to her husband, and to her future to face the truth. Maybe it was time to seek therapy, to open up, to finally reclaim the parts of herself that had been lost for so long.

Because at 59, life wasn’t over. Maybe, in some ways, it was just beginning.

Am I Ready to Begin Healing?

Our 7 gentle, reflective questions are meant to help you pause, listen to your heart, and begin to discern where you are on your journey—and where God may be inviting you next. Click here to take the quiz 

For anyone walking a similar path, know this: the past may shape you, but it does not define you. Healing is possible, even from wounds long buried. Joanne